the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize