He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
