I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
