dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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