she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
