break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
