it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize