i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize