Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize