The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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