hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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