she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize