the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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