Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize