In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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