I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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