Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this just has baby written all over it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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