We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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