he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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