We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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