she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
