thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
