I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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