she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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