I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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