How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We talked him into tasing himself.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
