During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
