Plan B is the new Plan A
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize