OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
