Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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