Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize