I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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