My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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