I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize