The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
PANTIES FOUND
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