They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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