You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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