Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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