just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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