I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
