Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
