On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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