See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize