Already got asked if we're dating
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
