I like my sex mixed with concussions.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
