it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
