your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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