I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
