love makes seman taste better
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I could fuck to npr.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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