How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
