like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
