enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
