I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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