Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
