omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So vagazzling was a success
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
