Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
