I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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