Nicole vs. Life
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
