So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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