its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
