Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
