I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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