the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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